You cannot control everything in your life focus on those you can

Focus on the things you can influence then you will expand your knowledge and experience and build trustworthiness.  Focus on your circle of influence and not your circle of concern.  Stephen Covey

Perspective taking more effective than empathy

Daniel Pink:

The research shows that perspective-taking and empathy are similar -- but not quite the same. Empathy is more about understanding the other person's emotions -- what he or she is feeling. Perspective-taking is more about understanding the other person's interests -- what he or she is thinking. Both are important. But the research shows that perspective-taking is slightly more effective in moving others. So while leaders should work to understand what others are feeling, they should also work to understand what they're thinking -- the reasons they might be opposed to doing something.

What do I need to develop to move forward in this situation?

Framework for thinking before acting

Mind the gap - 

We need four things to successfully accomplish a task

1.   the skills to do it- technical skills

2.  the knowledge 

3.  the will - the desire, passion and motivation 

4.  the capacity - the mental, emotional, or physical ability 

5.  the emotional intelligence - the ability to be aware of, manage and express one's emotions and be aware of those of others

So next time ask yourself what gap do I have to handle this situation?  Is it a skill gap? A knowledge gap?  …….

Expecting people to do things because you said so

Leading based control leads to resistance and develops fear as the way to maintain control. This does not result in as much innovation as leading based on trust, freedom and the development of responsibility.. is it harder to do?

Ceo's list conflict management skills as highest on their list for coaching needs.  These are followed by listening skills, sharing leadership, planning and mentoring, communication and then team building. Read more about it.

Gibbs Rule No 3. Head slap 2 Wake up to yourself

Wake up to yourself:  You will always be busy. Things will always come up when you are managing.  You must lean to prioritise what has to be done and what can wait. One of the priorities is looking after yourself and that includes making time to exercise and getting enough sleep. Go to Bucket list for a Balanced life   for simple tips about what you need to do to look after your health.

Gibbs Rule No 2. of Leadership- Head slap

Gibbs Rule No 2.  Focusing on the positives rather than the negatives
We all have skills and talents, things that we love to do and things we hate.  Things we are good at doing and things we are no good and never will be.  All those staff appraisals that list our achievements and then an even longer list of the things we need to work on have never worked for me.  What I think is more important is to focus on the things I do well and build a team or outsource the others.  Of all the profile tests I have found Wealth Dynamics Profile test the best.  It asks you to answer the questions based on what you love to do and says that your time is best spent on these.

The NCIS -Gibbs rules of Leadership

I started this blog for my son.  As a twenty one year old he came to manage the family business, and needed to deal with staff, most of whom were much older than him and had been working in the business longer than him.  As things happen in the business, he rings and we discuss leadership skills, techniques and strategies, and theory that is relevant. We are both great fans of NCIS especially Gibbs.  So we are creating the Gibbs rules of leadership on the run.

Rule No. 1  Respect is not automatically earned for Y generation.
For many of the older generations - baby boomers- respect is something that they have learnt to give as a result of age and position.  This is not the view of the Y generation.  They will give respect  when respect is given to them first or the person has earned it. It is not automatically given.  Despite  these different perspectives on respect, respect is important in any relationship and is a two way deal.  Gen Y tend to show respect for relationships and individuals but not for roles and institutions. (Michael McQueen - The New Rules of engagement - a guide to understanding and connecting with Generation Y)

Today Show: Business Professor Adam Grant Givers & Takers Review

Today Show: Business Professor Adam Grant Givers & Takers Review
Evidence shows that people tend to approach professional interactions with one of three different mindsets: taker, matcher, and giver. The people who get promoted are those who establish a track record for advancing the interests of the group.